As luck would have it, we also covered bullfighting over 2 days in my culture class last week, so I am able to provide an in-depth analysis of the events that took place. Before we get to the actual bull fight, let's go over some of the facts and fictions regarding bull fights. Let's see if you can pick out the differences between the truth and the misconceptions
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BULL FIGHTING.....TRUE OR FALSE?
*Bull fighting is derived from the Roman Collesium spectacles
*Bull fights take place in a circular ring, and the seat of honor is reserved for the King of Spain.
*A typical bull fight involves bouts with 6 different bulls and usually lasts 2.5 hours.
*Before the matador enters the ring, the bull must face three different "Picadors" or, people with gnarly looking spears that jump up and stab the bull in the back.
*Bulls are colorblind and the color of the matador´s cape is red in honor King Leon ¨The Red Faced.
*If a matador does well during a bullfight the crowd shouts at the governor to cut off the dead bull´s ear for the matador. If he does REALLY well, the crowed demands that both ears and the bull´s tail be given to the matador.
*Red Bull sponsors cheerleaders at most major bull fighting arenas. The bull fighters are also rewarded with some of their tail.
*Having empty bottles and seat cushions thrown at you by the crowd is a GOOD thing.
*It is ABUNDANTLY clear that all of the matadors are going Commando.
*Nobody laughed at my ¨the sum of my bullfighting experience comes from that one Madonna video¨ joke. (You know, the one where she gets dumped by the Matador...)
*Matadors have caddies with whom they consult and who provide them with different swords as the situation requires.
*Matadors in training make extensive use of the mechanical bulls at Coyote Ugly.
*After getting killed in the ring, the bull is chopped up and sold in a meat store on site.
*Even if the bull ¨wins¨ by, say, goring the crap out of the matador, he still gets killed, and chopped up and sold.
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Wait a second....all of the above is TRUE!!!
What a crappy sport!
Its kind of annoying that the bull has no freaking shot whatsoever. Its a worst case scenario handbook without any solutions, its the Kobayashi Maru from Star Trek II, except that its REALLY hard to cheat the system without opposable thumbs.
The sport does seem to go out of its way to be as brutal as possible. Yet, strangely, I was able to tolerate and even enjoy parts of the bizarre spectacle.
My ability to come up with and spout sage-sounding commentary was key:
¨The matador has total control of that bull...and this crowd!¨
¨That bull has got creepy-old-man-stength¨
¨The matador´s theatrics seem forced and hollow¨
¨This sort of behavior would never fly in Madrid....¨
This penchant for commentary, along with my extensive rationalizing made for a fun night.
¨Up until this very moment, that bull has led a good life....for a bull¨
¨That bull was dead the moment he walked into the ring¨
¨He´s probably so hopped up on meth that he doesn´t feel a thing¨
....(what am I saying? how can I stand this? what have I become? Has the dude selling ice cream passed by yet?)....
3 comments:
mmmmmmm...Rocky Mountain Oysters.....mmmmmmmmmmm.
The fact that you were disturbed by this made me proud to be a Deeg-I-P
Sure, it sounds good to reward a victorious bull with freedom, but what next for the bull? He won't have the skill set needed to succeed in the larger world. His lack of education precludes his getting a good job, so he'd probably end up either as a drug-addicted burden on the Spanish socialist welfare state or right back in the arena, fighting matadors for his keep. Really, Spain would need to set up a process to help bulls transition, to address their needs, like they do with paroled prisoners.
This comment no tiene nada que ver con tu blog post, but remember that song "And God said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody-floody" that the Flanders sing to Homer when he stops going to church? That very song is playing in the background right now--it's on an album of children's music that my mom gave Max. He likes to listen to it while he eats breakfast.
FYI, now it's "Sailing, sailing, o'er the bounding waves, where many a stormy wind shall blow... 'ere Jack comes home again."
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